


The Mess You Left Behind

by wakeupstiles



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arguments, F/F, F/M, Heartbreak, after octavia and clarke escape, mentions of gina but this is after her death soooo, raven sets bellamy straight like what shoud have happened, set during 3.05, she gives him the awakening he needs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-23
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-22 17:31:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6088330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wakeupstiles/pseuds/wakeupstiles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy wasn't the only one who lost someone they loved when Mount Weather went up in flames.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mess You Left Behind

**Author's Note:**

> raven/gina was everything tbh

She stormed into his room in a blind rage, banged both of her fists on the desk that he was nodding off at. He jumped up with a quickness, his eyes wide, his cheat heaving, sweat shining along his hairline. His eyes narrowed when he realized who it was. He opened his mouth but she spoke before he could, “What the _fuck_ is wrong with you?” She demanded.

He shot up, towered over her. “What are you talking about?” He barked back.

She didn’t back down; her untamed fury made her twelve feet tall. “The Grounders this morning. Arresting the ones in the clinic— _Lincoln_ of all people. _Trying to imprison Clarke!_ ” She wanted to slap him, wanted to punch him in that freckled, smug face. But violence never solved anything, she knew. Neither did yelling, but that was all she had as a weapon right now.

Bellamy shook his head, sat back down, gave a one shoulder shrug. “I did what had to be done.”

Her anger flared again, but instead of raising her voice like she wanted, she merely sat down on the little bench against the wall, defeated and tired. “You have to stop this.” She said softly, rubbing little circles on her aching thigh. She’d been on her feet all day, despite Abby’s persistent and annoying nagging to stay off it. _It will get worse._ Yeah, well, _there was work to get done, Abby._

“Stop what?” He questioned begrudgedly

She looked up at him, her eyes bulging. She swung her arms wide for effect and said, “Stop trying to make a war—stop listening to _Pike._ ” Pike, the stupid bastard. Everything was fine before he got there. Him and his people. His small army of anti-Grounder assholes. Three months of peace thrown out the window. Everything they strived for, everything they sacrificed for—everything Clarke sacrificed for, vanished within a few hours because Pike was trigger happy and able to persuade a crowd to follow him.

He ruined it. He ruined _them._

Bellamy crossed his arms. “Pike is going to keep all of us alive.”

“Pike is going to get all of us killed!” Raven shouted, shooting up and ignoring the pain that raced through her leg and up her spine.

“I don’t have to listen to this.” He waved his hand dismissively and turned around in his chair, so that now his back was to her, ignoring her like a goddamn child.

The exasperated woman ran her hands through her hair, dropped her arms and slumped her shoulders. “You ruined everything, Bellamy.” She whispered. That got his attention; he perked his head up, began turning back towards her. She went on while she had his attention, “Everything we strived for. Everything Clarke did— _killing Finn,_ killing the people at Mount Weather—you fucking _ruined it all._ ”

He stood up again, bawled his fists and said through a clenched jaw, “Get out of my room.”

She made not attempts to leave. Raven was just as stubborn, if not more, as Bellamy, and she would make him listen to her. “What would Gina say?” She questioned, doing her best to keep her voice level and controlled when all it wanted to do was crumble. His jaw went slack and his eyes began to glisten. Raven squared her shoulders and continued, “What would Gina say if she saw what you were doing? What would she think if she knew _you helped kill three hundred innocent people_ —people who were just trying to protect us? _What would Gina say?_ ”

“Gina is _dead!_ ” He shouted, his voice in pieces.

_“I know!”_ She shouted back, her voice just as broken. She slammed her fist on the wall beside her, pushed the sting of pain to the back of her mind. She closed her eyes, took a few deep breaths, didn’t look at the man as she spoke, “She’s dead, I know that. Fuck— _I know!_ She’s dead and she’s not coming back—but she’s _somewhere_ and she’s seeing all the bullshit you’re doing, all the bullshit you’re falling for—and she _hates it._ ”

“Shut up, Raven.” He tried to sound authoritative and stern but his words came out in a ragged mess, the conviction nowhere to be heard. She looked up at him then, saw that he was sitting on the edge of his bed, his head in his hands, tugging at his curly hair.

Raven wanted to go over there and comfort him, but she didn’t. She needed to be strong and relentless, she didn’t need to break and hold him. She wiped at her eyes, cleared her throat, stated, “She wouldn’t want you to kill people _because_ of her. She wouldn’t want you—she wouldn’t want you to kill _for_ her, and you know that. _You know that._ ”

He kept his head down as he grumbled, “You don’t know what she would want.”

She let out a little laugh, shook her head even though he couldn’t see. “I know she wouldn’t want _this._ ”

He raised his head and narrowed his dark eyes at the woman. “She’s dead. I lost her.” He stood, waved his arms around and raised his voice, “I let her die! She’d dead because of me!”

“You’re not the only one who lost her!” She screamed, so loud she thought the walls shook, so loud she felt it vibrating through her body, so loud it rendered Bellamy speechless. She looked at him, eyes watery, heart pounding, and shrugged sadly. “You’re not the only one who lost her.” She repeated, her voice barely audible because of the rawness beginning to attack her throat.

Realization hit Bellamy like a ton of bricks. He watched silently as Raven slid back down on the bench and absentmindedly massaged her braced leg. His eyes grew soft and he crossed his arms over his chest loosely. He should have known. How could he not have? Raven was his friend, probably his best friend, and if he’d paid better attention he would have seen it. “You were—you were in love with her.” He mumbled.

“No.” She said quickly, then bit her lip and reconsidered. “Maybe. I don’t know.” She sighed, giving a little shrug. “I loved her. I did. She was my best friend. I loved her. And now she’s gone. And you’re killing people because you think it’s going to make everything better but it’s just going to make everything worse. _Again._ She’s dead and you’re killing people and I’m… She’s dead and I’m not killing people because of it. I’m a mess because I loved her.” She exhaled slowly, rubbed small circles in her temples, then looked up at him with tears in her eyes. “I loved her, too, but I’m not going off and starting a civil war.”

And he knew she was right. As much as he hated to admit it, she was right and he was incredibly wrong. He slowly walked over to her, sat down beside her and confessed, “I am a mess.”

“You are.” She agreed.

“I have _made_ a mess.” He muttered.

“You have.” She nodded, tight lipped.

He turned to her, desperation in his voice. “How do I fix this, Raven?”

“First things first, we have to get Pike out of power and arrest the Anti-Grounder Crusade.”

“How do we do that when the majority voted him into power?”

She pondered the question for a moment, then said, “We have a Coup.” Then added as the confusion grew on his face, "A lot more people are against Pike than you think."

He arched his brows. “We stop the violence with more violence? I thought you were talking me down from that.”

Raven rolled her eyes, elaborated, “We use violence one last time if it comes to that."

"It will." He said surely.

She nodded considerably. "We overthrow him out of power. Then we let Clarke and Lexa fix this.”

Bellamy gave a little scowl, made a face like he’d just smelled something disgusting, “You trust _her?_ ”

“Clarke?” She asked, confused.

“Lexa.” He corrected.

She shook her head a few times. “No. But Clarke does and I trust Clarke.”

Bellamy nodded, agreeing, then leaned his head against the wall and scrubbed his hands over his face. “I fucked up. I fucked up so bad, Raven.”

“I know you did.” She patted his leg, then stood up and extended her hand to him. “And now it’s time to fix it.” She said confidently.

He took her hand and she pulled him up. “Coup.”

She nodded. “Coup.”

“I’ll get Kane and Abby.”

“I’ll get Miller and distract the guards while he releases Lincoln.”

They exited the room and turned in different directions to begin what they had to do. Bellamy took a few steps before he turned back around and called, “Raven,”

She turned her head to him. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.” He said sincerely.

She gave a little nod. “I know.”


End file.
